Dirtiest Festival Mud Wellies

Ranked: The 10 dirtiest festivals in Britain

22nd June 2018 Off By Sam Warrenger

Festivals are known for being dirty, muddy, sweaty, and smelly places. It turns out, some are much cleaner than the dirtiest festivals in Britain.

We’ve ranked 10 major UK festivals from dirtiest to cleanest, thanks to a study conducted on behalf of SpaSeekers.

Attendees of each festival last year were asked which personal hygiene tasks they avoided for the entire weekend. We’ve posted the averages below.

UK Averages: Going the entire festival without:
29% didn’t shower
8% didn’t change clothes
8% didn’t change underwear
5% didn’t brush their teeth
17% didn’t brush their hair
11% didn’t wash their face
35% didn’t wash their hair
6% didn’t use deodorant
13% didn’t sanitise their hands

We’ve combined these factors to give each festival a filthiness rating, then ranked them from dirtiest to cleanest below.

Jason Goldberg, director of SpaSeekers, told TheFestivals “Attending a festival weekend is a rite of passage every Brit goes through, and while people will be having the time of their lives watching their favourite musicians our research showed they are prepared to get a little dirty!”

Last update on 2018-07-22 / As an Amazon Associate TheFestivals.UK earns from qualifying purchases / Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.co.uk, Inc. or its affiliates / Images from Amazon Product Advertising API

1. Download Festival

Download Festival 2018
Image credit: Matt Eachus / Download 2018

Filthiness rating: 88

The spiritual home of metal, Download has been crowned the UK’s dirtiest festival, with an overall filthiness rating of 88.

More Downloaders wore the same clothes for the entire festival than anywhere else, though at least more changed their underwear than Creamfields attendees!

Download fans were also the most likely to go the whole weekend without wearing deodorant. Tasty.

This year’s Download was headlined by a £5 million Guns N’ Roses set, and tickets for Download 2019 are already on sale.

During Download Festival:
40% didn’t shower
14% didn’t change clothes
12% didn’t change underwear
9% didn’t brush their teeth
26% didn’t brush their hair
16% didn’t wash their face
48% didn’t wash their hair
14% didn’t use deodorant
17% didn’t sanitise their hands

2. Creamfields

Creamfields
Image credit: James Bridle / Media Art Design

Filthiness rating: 80

Our super-scientific algorithm has awkwardly placed Creamfields, Reading and Leeds, and V Fest on a joint filthiness rating of 80. 

Set for the late August bank holiday, Fatboy Slim, Major Lazer, and Chase & Status will all be there this summer.

Over 40% of Creamfields-goers didn’t shower for the entire weekend, despite possibly sweating out half their body weight raving about.

13% didn’t even change their underwear, more than at any other festival.

Whilst you’ll see a lot of ‘sold out’ signs on their ticket page, full weekend and day tickets are all still available if you move fast.

During Creamfields:
42% didn’t shower
11% didn’t change clothes
13% didn’t change underwear
4% didn’t brush their teeth
20% didn’t brush their hair
4% didn’t wash their face
60% didn’t wash their hair
7% didn’t use deodorant
22% didn’t sanitise their hands

3. Reading and Leeds

Reading Festival 2016 Crowd Mosh Pit
Image credit: Marc de Groot

Filthiness rating: 80

Like Creamfields, nearly half of Reading and Leeds fans didn’t shower. I’m sure Leeds-goers will claim that’s all the Reading lot, and vice-versa, but there we go.

Reading and Leeds will this year welcome Fall Out Boy, Kendrick Lamar, and Kings of Leon. 

Panic! At The Disco and Courteeners will also feature at the festivals where pretty much 1-in-4 don’t even sanitise their hands the whole weekend! That means that Reading and Leeds attendees win the award for having the dirtiest hands at any British festival.

With 13% not changing clothes and 11% not changing underwear, they’re not far behind Download or Creamfields on those counts either.

Get your Leeds tickets here, or your Reading tickets here.

During Reading and Leeds:
42% didn’t shower
13% didn’t change clothes
11% didn’t change underwear
6% didn’t brush their teeth
27% didn’t brush their hair
8% didn’t wash their face
45% didn’t wash their hair
8% didn’t use deodorant
24% didn’t sanitise their hands

4. V Festival

V Festival 2013
Image credit: Matt Eachus

Filthiness rating: 80

V Festival doesn’t exist anymore since sponsor Virgin pulled out last year, but whilst the site of V Fest North lays barren, V Fest South has been revived for 2018 as RiZE Festival.

Featuring Liam Gallagher, Stereophonics, and James Bay, tickets for RiZE are still available, and have even had a price cut!

Unfortunately, you’re still likely to run into one of the 39% of V Fest fans that don’t shower for the entire festival.

During V Festival:
39% didn’t shower
12% didn’t change clothes
11% didn’t change underwear
7% didn’t brush their teeth
25% didn’t brush their hair
12% didn’t wash their face
45% didn’t wash their hair
10% didn’t use deodorant
16% didn’t sanitise their hands

5. BBC Big Weekend

BBC Big Weekend Norwich Aerial
Image credit: John Fielding

Filthiness rating: 76

This year’s BBC Big Weekend took place across Belfast, Perth, Swansea, and Coventry in late May. Swansea was blessed with an early Ed Sheeran performance. Noel Gallagher headlined the Perth show, whilst brother Liam headlined in Coventry.

At the Big Weekend, you’re more likely to find someone who hasn’t brushed their teeth all weekend than at any other British festival. They’re also the second most likely to not be wearing deodorant.

Oh, and like Glastonbury, you can watch all this year’s sets on iPlayer until you’re sick of them.

During BBC’s Big Weekend:
32% didn’t shower
13% didn’t change clothes
13% didn’t change underwear
12% didn’t brush their teeth
19% didn’t brush their hair
14% didn’t wash their face
39% didn’t wash their hair
12% didn’t use deodorant
16% didn’t sanitise their hands

6. Wireless Festival

Wireless Festival 2017
Image credit: Jordan Hughes

Filthiness rating: 60

Despite being crowned the UK’s most promiscuous festival, Wireless still has a substantial filthiness rating of 60. 

Nearly 1-in-3 went without a shower, and almost 1-in-10 didn’t brush their teeth.

Wireless takes place in Finsbury Park in early July, but don’t get too excited, as tickets are completely sold out. This year’s headliners include Stormzy and DJ Khaled.

During Wireless Festival:
31% didn’t shower
11% didn’t change clothes
6% didn’t change underwear
8% didn’t brush their teeth
19% didn’t brush their hair
14% didn’t wash their face
25% didn’t wash their hair
11% didn’t use deodorant
6% didn’t sanitise their hands

7. Isle of Wight Festival

Isle of Wight Festival Main Stage
Image credit: Liz Murray

Filthiness rating: 48

As we move towards the cleaner end of the spectrum, it’s nice to see how well the majority looked after their personal hygiene. In our first example, 97% of Isle of Wight fest attendees brushed their teeth and changed their underwear throughout the weekend.

This year marks the festival’s 50th anniversary and takes place later this month from 21st-24th June. Kasabian, Depeche Mode, Liam Gallagher, and The Killers will all be there, among countless other big-name acts.

Tickets are still available, with substantial discounts for students, teenagers, and island residents.

During Isle of Wight:
28% didn’t shower
6% didn’t change clothes
3% didn’t change underwear
3% didn’t brush their teeth
13% didn’t brush their hair
1% didn’t wash their face
35% didn’t wash their hair
6% didn’t use deodorant
12% didn’t sanitise their hands

Last update on 2018-07-22 / As an Amazon Associate TheFestivals.UK earns from qualifying purchases / Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.co.uk, Inc. or its affiliates / Images from Amazon Product Advertising API

8. Parklife

Parklife
Image credit: Jenna Foxton

Filthiness rating: 40

This year’s Parklife took place earlier this month, and featured big names like Skepta, Lorde, and Liam Gallagher whilst basking in glorious sunshine. Early bird tickets for Parklife 2019 are available now for £99.50.

Thankfully, 97% of Parklife fans brushed their teeth, as 26% of them kissed four or more people over the weekend!

However, as a two-day city festival without camping, there’s no excuse. Mancunian Parklife attendees will spend the night in their own houses, rather than a damp tent. The 21% that still didn’t shower need to re-evaluate their life decisions.

During Parklife:
21% didn’t shower
3% didn’t change clothes
7% didn’t change underwear
3% didn’t brush their teeth
10% didn’t brush their hair
5% didn’t wash their face
29% didn’t wash their hair
3% didn’t use deodorant
8% didn’t sanitise their hands

9. Bestival

Bestival
Image credit: Bestival

Filthiness rating: 32

Having moved to mainland Dorset from it’s Isle of Wight home, Bestival finally no longer requires an expensive ferry journey. Taking place in the first weekend of August, weekend tickets are still available. They even do student discount.

More Bestival fans showered than any other British festival. Perhaps that’s why it was recently found to be the festival where you’re most likely to sleep with someone new. 54% reported doing so during Bestival last year.

During Bestival:
14% didn’t shower
4% didn’t change clothes
4% didn’t change underwear
2% didn’t brush their teeth
10% didn’t brush their hair
4% didn’t wash their face
20% didn’t wash their hair
2% didn’t use deodorant
8% didn’t sanitise their hands

10. Latitude Festival

Latitude at Night
Image credit: Lauren Maccabee

Filthiness rating: 28

Among others, the Suffolk festival features The Killers, alt-J, Solange, The Vaccines, Wolf Alice, and Rag ‘N’ Bone Man this year. Taking place over the 13th-15th July, full weekend and Friday/Sunday day tickets are still available.

0% didn’t brush their teeth at Latitude. 0% didn’t use deodorant.

We use rounding, so whilst that doesn’t mean absolutely everyone at Latitude is super-clean, it does mean that over 99% of them made the effort.

The UK’s cleanest festival was also found to be one of the most promiscuous, with over half sleeping with a new partner.

Unsurprisingly, day tickets for The Killers’ Saturday headline set have long since sold out, so if you fancy going to the UK’s fourth most promiscuous festival whilst hearing Mr Brightside played live, you’ll need to be in it for the weekend.

During Latitude Festival:
22% didn’t shower
3% didn’t change clothes
5% didn’t change underwear
0% didn’t brush their teeth
8% didn’t brush their hair
3% didn’t wash their face
16% didn’t wash their hair
0% didn’t use deodorant
3% didn’t sanitise their hands

Main image credit: Ashton

TheFestivals & Editor ● The Tab Contributor ● University of Manchester Politics Postgrad ● Bangor University School of Computer Science graduate ●  Blog ● One of 1500+ Chester FC owners

sam@thefestivals.uk