The gates of Secret Garden Party re-opened earlier this summer to welcome thousands of revellers once again. A fabled cult classic-type festival, its name was spoken with bittersweet nostalgia by veterans of the noughties festival circuit. Having closed its gates for what many feared was the final time in 2017, the festival resurrected this year, Christ-like, and adopted the refrain of Four Scouse Saints for its theme, preaching: “All You Need is Love” (daa-daa-daa da-da-da).
One of the most distinctive features of SGP is its beautiful site. The festival’s main arena has the feel of a miniature nature park or country estate. Based around a lake that sparkles enticingly in the mid-summer sun, the festival grounds encompass shady, ravey woods, a series of small hills and valleys, as well as the more traditional grassy plains where most of the action happens. These different areas can be traversed in a matter of minutes.
Meandering around the site is strongly encouraged by the format of the festival: the line-up remains a secret until you arrive, and then is largely devoid of the stadium-fillers that top other more mainstream festivals. Although there are some top acts to see here, the true spirit of the festival is felt by wandering around the umpteen smaller stages and stumbling upon new and charming acts, whilst giggling about the weird and whacky installations found around the site.
No lie, some of the things to discover are quite a trip. Raunchy Gestapo stripper ladies gyrating to beaty covers of famous rock songs. A “fire shower” to roast yourself under, if you haven’t had enough of the July sun that day. The “Tat Modern” gallery, where pretentious “experts” guide you through the “works” of the greats including the ever-virtuous Rolf Harris. Which happens to be right next door to a life-drawing class (good job Rolf ain’t really here, eh?). There’s the Feast of Fools stage, which is dedicated to the music of medieval bards. And there’s the “World’s Most Rubbish Bar” made of reusable waste. There’s even a sex tent. Genuinely.
The headliners this year included Kae Tempest, London Grammar and Metronomy. Kae put on a great performance to a surprisingly small crowd. London Grammar blasted their way through a strong performance of their hits to the biggest crowd of the weekend. Metronomy were solid. Besides the headliners, if you’re going to see one thing at the main stage at SGP, it must be The Saturday Spectacle. It was genuinely the best fireworks display we have ever seen.
Demographics-wise, the festival is widely understood to be flamingly boujie. All we’ll say on the matter is that on Saturday morning there were 30+ people in the queue for a phonebox which served (exclusively) Bloody Mary’s. And one evening in the early hours we were asked about our favourite Greek God by random strangers. And almost everyone, though undoubtedly looking sexy, looked like they’d maxed out their Black Cards on the “My First Festival” section of the Fortnum and Mason catalogue.
Finally, it’s worth commenting on the grief that SGP have been getting for the state of the toilets and for the amount of litter left on the ground this year. Yes, it was bad. And, yes, it’s something that the organisers need to get right next year. But we can’t help but wonder whether a lot of the fuss has been kicked up by the festival’s predominantly middle-class clientele? Other more battle-hardened festival-goers perhaps wouldn’t find the state of the facilities overly daunting. We didn’t find it detracted much from the fun and frolics that we experienced in the Garden this year. We’ll certainly be returning next time!
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